Fkboy Chronicles: Chapter 3!
#fuckboysbelike: The Opinionated Know-it-all Fkboy
Theo will tell you that this was his idea but it was really my idea. I’m the smart one amongst us. I know everything there is to know about women, and I am definitely not a “fkboy”, as they say. Monogamous relationships are just the social norm, meaning society has deemed it “normal.” The same society that pushed Trump this close to an election, but that’s another topic for another day. I’m here to discuss my favorite topic: me.
My name is Shane. The only thing I appreciate about my supposed title, appointed to me by Theo himself, is that it accents my intellectuality. The Opinionated Know-it-all Fkboy might fit me pretty well. I’ve known Theo and Chad for a pretty long time and I’m not a hard person to read. So, it was very understandably a unanimous decision on which fkboy I qualify as.
A moment of truth with you: Theo and Chad are the way they are because they need to grow up; I’m the way I am because, well, I probably need therapy. I don’t pretend. I’m very blunt and honest with everyone I encounter. I’ll let you know straight up that I am trash and you probably shouldn’t be fckin’ with me if you have any ounce of self-worth. But women are backwards, you see. They don’t really know what they want. They claim to want honesty, so when you give them that, they feel like they can change the truth.
Theo says this is just for an introduction. So like I said, my name is Shane and I’m a nurse practitioner for a Naturopathic doctor. In other words, we focus on the natural medicines and healing regimens more than prescription drugs. To be honest, I’m probably the only one of all three of us who doesn’t intentionally fck with these girls’ minds. It just happens that way. Some of these girls I do genuinely care about. My one and only damning issue is probably my love for women and sex. I don’t lie to any of the girls I talk to. They’re aware they aren’t the only one, however they still seem to get all upset when I have to leave. Most of the time, I just want sex. But I’ve always been particularly “smooth”, or so I’ve heard. I have a naturally caring personality so I guess I’m not really the type that should be “just f*cking” anyone. But I can’t help it, so I just keep doing it. When sh*t hits the fan on the type of man I can sometimes be, I take full responsibility. But, for some reason I’ll never understand, they usually stay anyway. If they don’t stay, they definitely always return. So, in essence, women make me a fkboy. They have all the free time to leave but they never do.
Only one girl left and won’t return: Navina. We met back in college and I fell in love quickly. Quicker than I wanted to and that’s what scared me, thus ruining us. When I get scared, I do dumb sh*t. I did some dumb sh*t and lost the one girl who knew how to tame me. We’re friends now but, if I just had one more chance, I’d do everything I could to make her happy, but I know I wouldn’t be able to. I need help that I don’t want to get right now. What holds me back from changing my fkboy ways is my pride, and a $100/hr therapist.
