#RelationshipGoals

Love, Sex & Relationships

Have you passed the first-stage in your relationship? Would you class your partner as a special someone? Do you want to give and get the best out of this relationship in the long-run? If so, it’s time to set your relationship goals! This month we focus on the importance of goal-setting within a relationship and just how these goals can be set.

There are many reasons as to why potentially good couples break up, but the foremost underlying reason is due to not sharing any relationship goals with each other and thus, having little understanding of the values and direction of their relationship.

Many people sit back and allow the relationship to take its course and do its own work, while many work for it.

Discussing goals is always better as it raises your awareness of what the other person wants for the future. Although there is no way to predict what may come in the future, you would already have an idea of what you want to give and receive in the relationship. Goal setting in a relationship is based upon the values each partner may hold. It is about understanding the wants and needs of yourself, as well as your partner, so you can give and receive enough for the most satisfaction in the long-run.

Sure, you are attracted to each other and you share things in common, but what are your goals for your relationship?

Before sitting down with your partner to have this discussion, it is important that you have a full understanding of what your goals are as your own person. Question yourself: "Are you looking for someone to be serious with or do you just want someone to spend free time with so that you are not lonely?", "Would you like the relationship to lead to marriage or is marriage not the most important goal for yourself?", "Do you want kids now/later or do you not want kids at all?" Once you figure out exactly what your goals are then you will need to gain an understanding of why these goals are important to you and exactly how important they are. If your goal is marriage, you will need to understand why marriage is so important to you and whether it is a make or break for the relationship.

Being unaware of what you and your partner want to get from a relationship will leave your relationship vulnerable and volatile.

It may even lead to a nasty break up. On the other hand, by having the answers to these questions, it will make it easier for you to know if the person that you are with is the right fit for you. When you have the answers you need for yourself then you are able to sit down and talk to your partner. Communication is vital at this point.

Share your goals with them and listen to what their goals are as well.

This way, you can both see where you stand not only as individuals, but as a couple . At this point you can see if there are any differences with your goals and if you can find a compromise that you can both be happy with. Just bear in mind, not having the same goals as the person you are with does not necessarily mean that the relationship is over, but it does mean that communication is necessary so you can keep track of where your relationship is headed and if it is lacking anything that it needs.

If you both create a plan together on things that you can both accomplish for each of your goals as individuals and as a couple your relationship will go a lot further. However, keep in mind that your goals may change overtime so it is best to keep the communication open and touch base with them on your thoughts, so you never reach a point in your relationship where you feel lost or confused.

Although having an understanding of your partner’s goals is important, it is more important to be in touch with what you need from the relationship and make sure they have an understanding of that.

When you lose sight of your goals and you are just in the relationship, it no longer fulfills your wants, needs and desires.

Your partner can’t change unless they want to and there is nothing you can do to change the way they feel or the things they want from a relationship, so the only power you have in the relationship is with yourself. You should never let go of your dreams or lower your expectations to be with someone even if you feel that you love them. The person you are with should always respect your differences and do their best to try and live up to some of your expectations. You should always work together to keep the relationship on track and you can do this with good communication and goal-setting.

With both, communication and goal-setting, your relationship will be stronger and more fulfilling for the both of you.