How To Fight Fair In A Relationship

► Stay focused on the conflict.

It’s easy to stray from the real conflict when you fight in a relationship, especially when you’re on the losing side. You may start arguing about how your partner leaves you alone at a party and drag the fight all the way to how your mate doesn’t help with the chores.

► Don’t bring up past issues.

If you want to know how to fight fair in a relationship, never bring up unnecessary details of the past just to make your partner feel miserable. If your partner almost cheated on you three years ago, there’s really no need to bring that up just to win an argument or make your partner shut up.

► Don’t use a low blow on your lover.

Sometimes, when all you see is red because you’re on the losing side, the easiest way to hurt your partner is to hit them where it hurts. By talking about how fat or ugly your partner’s become, or how much of a loser they are, you’re definitely tweaking a sensitive nerve and you may even manage to bring your lover to tears. But why should you ever do that? Just to prove that you’re right and your partner is wrong? If you want to fight fair, always avoid a low blow that can traumatize your partner for a long time.

► Don’t be sarcastic.

Sarcasm can hurt, a lot. It can hurt a lot more when you use it in a lovers’ tiff. It could also piss your mate off and force them to start low blowing you or bringing up past issues just to get even. And what started off as a misunderstanding can lead to an all out war, and guess what, with no solution.

► Listen to each other.

Contrary to what most people think, an argument will always help a relationship get better and help both of you understand each other. But that’s only as long as both of you respect each other’s opinions and are willing to listen to each other without cutting across.

► Don’t raise your voices.

Raised voices may have worked in the roman senate, but it’ll never help in a relationship tussle. When one partner raises their voice, it’ll infuriate the other partner who may start yelling too, or perhaps even throw a few things around in frustration. Never make a mountain out of a molehill, and don’t raise your voice unless you have no choice. When you try your best to stay in control and speak with a calm voice, it’ll also help your partner calm down and help both of you have a discussion instead of a fight.

► Don’t gloat over your wins.

When you want to fight fair in a relationship, you should learn to accept an apology with humility. By behaving in a bossy manner or gloating over the fact that your partner apologized to you, you’ll only force your partner into becoming a person who never apologizes because of the way you behave after “winning” a fight.

► Don’t blame your failures on your partner.

Don’t blame someone else for your misfortunes or your shortcomings. If you feel strongly about something, speak about it without losing your cool. It may or may not be either of your fault. Sometimes, it could all just be a big misunderstanding.

► Remember why you’re fighting.

Most couples always forget the real reason for the conflict. Always remember that both of you are fighting, not to score points or prove dominance, but only because one of you is hurt and wants to be heard. Never forget that.

► Kiss and makeup.

As furious as both of you may be, always hug, kiss and make up after a fight even if you couldn’t come to a conclusion. Don’t lock yourself in a room or storm out of the house. It makes things worse for both of you, and you’re only prolonging something that can end in minute.