Relationship Intimacy

Overtime in many relationships, couples let the sex drive die down that it eventually becomes dull and boring. It almost becomes a chore that we have to do but don’t really want to do, all because we have the “stresses” of adulthood with our careers, children and financial worries. Where is the fun in that? Sex is a great stress reliever and it helps weed out the negativity in relationships. I’m not saying that sex fixes everything, as communication and commitment are key to fixing any relationship; However, sex is a vital part to hold a great relationship.

This month’s blog is dedicated to long-term couples; those who have been together so long they begin to lack intimacy and instead, redirect energy to the constant bickering and fighting. This is unhealthy and in most cases, it results in a nasty break up.

Is your relationship close to hitting the rut? And are you unwilling to give that person up? If so, it’s time to spice up your relationship again!

To spice up your relationship, you must make a commitment to your partner that you will keep trying and putting forth effort. You can start by rebuilding on your sex life by first creating an emotional connection with your partner. To build this emotional connection, you need to be willing to share your feelings with one another; this consists of your biggest vulnerabilities that you don’t share with anyone else. That means being willing to share every moment, not just the happy and exciting moments, but the ones of fear, sadness and shame as well. It also means being genuinely curious about your partner and being willing to accept their feelings. Not only does it mean to put out your feelings aside to receive theirs, but it also means being there for each other. When your partner needs support give it to them and overtime as challenges arise they know that they can depend on you to be there for them in time of need, vice versa.

Once you have built that emotional connection, you can explore new sexual pleasures. At the start of the relationship, the sex is fun and exciting because everything is new and you are learning the ins and outs of your partner’s body. Much of what makes great sex is about having fun and discovering what is pleasurable for you and your partner. It’s about making a commitment to each other to try things that you have never tried before; this will go a long way towards keeping your love life fresh and exciting.

Think you know everything you need to know about your partner? Chances are you probably don’t.

Every day we learn something new about the person we are with and will continue to learn and grow throughout the entire relationship.

If you’re ready to spice up your relationship, start by creating an evening together where you both agree to exploring ways of touching each other. Not only touching, but massaging your partner and rubbing your hands all over their body giving them a deep and sensual massage. You should also try different spaces, away from the bedroom.

The bedroom is great for lovemaking, but why not in front of the fireplace, in the kitchen, the shower or even out in public, if you are that daring?!

Explore new positions and take note of how that makes your partner feel. You can also create a safe word for when you/your partner is uncomfortable with something you both are trying. If you don’t communicate how certain things make you feel with your partner, you will not be able to satisfy them to the best of your ability. Take time to reconnect and talk about things that you like and dislike, talk about things that you are open to trying, talk about your erogenous areas, your favorite positions, your turn-on and turn-offs, discuss how often you want to have sex and also whether you want a long and slow session or a quickie. Actively search for answers of anything which can help stimulate your sexual desires with them.

What are you waiting for? Go and spice up your relationship now!