Chapman's Five Love Languages

"Love them how they want to be loved, instead of loving them how you want to be loved."

In today's society, taking the time to truly understand your partner needs is extremely rare, and this is usually the cause of the downfall in relationships. Recently, I had been introduced to Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, which had changed my own personal perspective on love and relationships.

Chapman explains that individuals have different love languages, meaning people speak and receive love in different ways. The five languages include: quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch and receiving gifts.

He emphasises on the importance of understanding how your partner’s love language, so you love them how they want to be loved, instead of loving them how you want to be loved.

Let's take a moment to focus on each of the love languages so we all can understand what they truly mean.

"Quality time" means spending time with your partner, giving your full and undivided attention with no distractions, time just the two of you sharing a quality conversation and activities; at the same time feeling ignored or "second best" can be very upsetting to them.

"Acts of Service" is really how it sounds, the person who has this language truly loves and appreciates when their special someone helps them out with both the easiest of things and more difficult ones; and them doing so without having to be asked or pestered is even better!

"Words of Affirmation" means the person with this language thrives on kind, thoughtful words and feeling appreciated. Things as simple as saying "I love you" or "You look great today" bring smiles to their faces, being told why they are loved, appreciated or cherished sends them over the moon and at the same time, harsh and cruel words can cut deeper and have lasting effects.

"Physical Touch" which many of you may think of as sexual or in the bedroom type thing, it is not. For those who speak the language of "Physical Touch", holding hands, hugging, touching of the arm, shoulder or cheek, and even a kiss are all important . Through even the most simple of touch a person with this language feels loved, appreciated and like they are important to their loved one, while the absence of touch can lead to the feeling of neglect, like they are not good enough or even their partner is ashamed to be with them.

"Receiving Gifts." I know what many of you are thinking, a person of this language enjoys being spoiled with lavish and continuous gifts. Actually, that is not true, as a person who speaks this language the meaning or thought behind the gift is really what they love and enjoy; though yes I am sure they will enjoy the gift itself as well. If you're significant other has this language, be sure to always remember those special occasions, and never give a gift haphazardly, as a special occasion or a last minute gift can be devastating to them.

Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, analyze what they complain about most often, and what they request from their significant other most often. Alternatively, you can ask someone to complete the quiz online, or do it yourself to find out about your own love language.

Out of curiousity, I decided to take the quiz myself to learn about my love language. The quiz consists of a series of multiple choice questions, and the results are ranked from 1-12 for each of the love languages; more than one language can have the same ranking while some will be more important to you than others. All of these ratings helps you understand your own unique “Love Language.”

So after taking the quiz, I finally got my results:

10 for Quality Time,

8 for Words of Affirmation,

5 for Acts of Service,

4 for Receiving Gifts and finally,

3 for Physical touch.

I highly suggest everyone reading, whether you are in a relationship or single, to take this this test and take the theory into consideration as it leads to an understanding of yourself and how you want to receive love. To those in a relationship, I suggest taking this quiz with your significant other and discussing the results. They may even surprise you!

Always remember, no one loves or receives love the same, however knowing this and working to understand your partner can help bring you to a happier existence and a healthier relationship.

If you are interested in taking the Five Love Languages quiz yourself please go to:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ and click "Click to Begin" under " --- Discover Your Language ---"

Disclaimer: The results of this quiz will not magically solve any issues in a relationship, though it is a good tool to use as no one loves or receives love the same.